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All My Daughter's Mothers

This year, my husband and I are celebrating our first Mother's Day.
 
For the past three years we've ridden the terrible ride of infertility. With each passing year I thought motherhood was never going to come for me.  I began to believe that we would forever be a married couple who would never have any children in our home. Each year, I avoided Mother's Day at all costs in order to shield my heart from the pain of our childlessness and hoped that next year would be different.
 
This year we are proud to celebrate that we soon will be parents to a little girl halfway around the world through a blessing called adoption. Although we are still weeks away from holding our daughter in our arms, she is with us in our hearts and thoughts each second. Although I am still unable to call myself a "mother", I know that it is coming soon.
 
My daughter is blessed that she has many women in her life that have been mother to her. 
 
This Mother's Day, I will think of our little girl's first mother. Her biological mother. The mother who held her in her body and lovingly cared for her. I will probably never know this woman's name or anything about her. On Mother's Day, I will remember with love the woman who brought our little girl into this world.
 
This Mother's Day, I will think of our little girls' orphanage mothers. The women who cared for her during the time she waited at her orphanage for adoption. The women who I will never know who had so many little mouth's to feed and little tears to dry. The women who cared for the little girl who would soon become our daughter during her earliest months to make sure she was healthy and loved. On Mother's Day, I will remember with love the women who fed, clothed, and provided safety for our little girl during a time when she needed them the most.
 
This Mother's Day, I will think of our little girls' foster mother. The woman who is caring for her currently while she waits for our adoption to be processed. A woman who welcomed our little girl into her home with love, knowing it was only for a short time. A woman who cared for our daughter like she was her own and loved on our daughter when we couldn't do so ourselves. On Mother's Day, I will remember with love the woman who took care of our little girl during the months we were unable to hold her ourselves.
 
I will remember the mothers that cared for our daughter and shaped our life and family. The women who selflessly gave their love and provided comfort when we could not. These women will forever be her mothers each in their own unique way and we will always hold respect and love for each one. I am proud to share motherhood of our daughter with each one of them.
 
With hope, my husband and I will be able to celebrate Mother's Day with our daughter together next May as a family.

4 comments

 

Bon's Mom 5/6/2010 7:50:15 AM
Bonnie I Love You...I am looking forward to my 1st Mother's day as a grandmother. I have been waiting almost 30 years for you to be a Mommy. The day I gave birth to you I thought how wonderful it will for you to have childern when you grow up. I wanted you to have all the happiness I have enjoyed raising you and your brother. Mom
Shelby 5/5/2010 1:24:58 PM
Beautiful. This brought tears to my eyes. Your daughter is one lucky little girl and I truly can't wait to read about her when she finally finds her way home.
R.E.B. 5/5/2010 9:22:21 AM
Your generosity of heart and spirit is beautiful!! You are a mom in every way possible, although you have yet to hold your daughter in your arms. You carry her in your heart through the miracle of adoption, and that is where all moms carry their children (whether they started out carrying them "under" their heart or not). Best wishes to your new little family -- how lucky for all of you that you have found each other :)
Brooke Randolph, LMHC 5/4/2010 6:39:34 PM
This is beautiful, Bonnie. Thank you for sharing your heart. You are a mother this Mother's Day, even if you are not providing the daily care. You are already providing for her needs and you have invested your heart. You will hold her in your arms so soon!

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