A Time for Resolution

New Years is a time where traditionally people look back at their year and make resolutions for the year to come. As you head back to work and your children back to school after the holidays, consider introducing some of these resolutions into your everyday life. You don’t have to tackle them all at once, try focusing on one each month. You may be doing many of these already but take some time to reflect and work on one area at a time. Wherever you are in the adoption process try incorporating these and get creative and involve the whole family!

1. Talk to your kids about adoption- Always encourage your child to talk about their story but it is important to wait until they are ready. If your child is not home yet, think about, research or even jot down some good ways to talk to children about adoption. You may even look for some children books that talk about adoption. Talk to your child in advance about how to answer questions that others may ask.
2. Celebrate your child’s heritage– Try a new recipe, do a craft or listen to music from your child’s birth country. If your child is adopted from Latin America try watching or dancing ballet Folklorico, tango or salsa.
3. Share your adoption journey with others- You have probably shared your story with everyone you know, so try working it into a conversation with someone who doesn’t already know your story.
4. Spend time with friends- Get out of the house and have some fun with friends. Maybe call a friend who you haven’t talked to in a while and reconnect over coffee or dinner.
5. Write a letter thanking someone who helped you during your adoption journey- Having a good support group is great but it is also important to make sure they know how much you appreciate their help.
6. Educate yourself– It’s always good to learn more about adoption. Read blogs or books, connect with an adoption network in support groups or forums or even take a class to discover more about adoption and parenting. Find ways to involve your child or share something you learned.
7. Focus on attachment– Bonding takes time and is a never-ending process. Spending time on a regular basis and being involved in activities with your child and have fun with them! Have a family game night and eat dinner, around the table as a family. Bonding with your spouse is also important make sure to have a date night and work on your relationship with your spouse too.
8. Explore open lines of communication- Sit down and have a great conversation with your child about anything. It is important to encourage open communication with your child. Don’t judge, don’t force your advice-unless they ask, just listen. Help your child to feel comfortable coming to you to talk about anything.
9. Have quiet time- We often get so wrapped up with the hustle and bustle of everyday life that we forget to take time for ourselves. Take time to reflect, meditate, journal, take a bath, read a book, exercise or go on a walk. Don’t forget kids can also benefit from quiet time.
10. Get involved- Be a support to others in their adoption journey. Join a support group or adoption forum or do community outreach.
11. Take pictures- Pictures are a great way to capture memories. Look back at old pictures and talk about past events, family and friends in pictures. Work on a Lifebook with your child and include pictures and talk about your child’s story.
12. Involve extended family- Connect with extended family, not just at the holidays but all year long. If your extended family is far away use skype or encourage your child to write letters or draw pictures to send in the mail.

MLJ Adoptions

MLJ Adoptions is a Non-Profit, Hague-Accredited adoption service provider located in Indianapolis, Indiana, working in Africa, Eastern Europe, Latin America and the Pacific Isles. We are passionate about serving children in need.