An (Adoptive) Father's Wisdom


In honor of Father’s Day, The International Mom’s Blog shared some wonderful words of wisdom from her husband, aka The International Dad. Many fathers wonder if they will be able to love an adopted child as they would a biological child, and Mark is able to speak directly to that concern. We are happy to be able to share Mark’s wisdom and excerpts from The International Mom’s Blog with you again here.

Speaking as a father of a biological son as well as three children who were adopted, I thought maybe I could help perspective fathers sort through the myriad of thoughts that go through male minds. I decided to speak to three thoughts for the fathers and prospective fathers of the world.

  • There is no difference in the love you feel for a child, adopted or biological. I remember the warmth and love I felt for my son in the delivery room and thinking I could not love more than what I feel for this child. I was wrong; the first time my oldest daughter greeted me in the hallway upon coming home from work dropped me to my knees as if I had just been sucker-punched. The moments I watched my younger daughter smile uncontrollably, as she experienced the wonder of dance, or my youngest son giving me a thumbs up and a smile as he scored his first goal are memories I cherish. A greater love for one over the other, I don’t think so.

  • Open your heart and mind, as wide as you think is possible, and then let it loose. If you truly can do this, the amount of love and kindness will be returned tenfold. I can think of no greater love than that given by a child. This is truly the purest gift one can receive, one that has no expectations whatsoever of getting anything in return.

  • Do not put undo pressure on yourself as to how to be the greatest dad on earth. I was given a book by my wife when my son was born. The book asks children what every daddy should know in order to get along with his children. An eight year old replied, “You need to remember that you should spend as much time as can with your children, because sooner or later, they will be too old to run races against them.” I think about this every day, not always doing the best job at it, but as a constant reminder. Keep it simple and love them!

MLJ Adoptions is a Non-Profit, Hague-Accredited adoption service provider located in Indianapolis, Indiana, working in Africa, Eastern Europe, Latin America and the Pacific Isles. We are passionate about serving children in need.