Category - Support Services

11
Apr

Is This Referral a Good Match for Our Family?

In the very beginning stages, when you decided you wanted to adopt a child, you may recall filling out a characteristics checklist that listed the potential medical conditions, special needs, developmental stages, the number of children you want to adopt, the gender of the child you prefer, and the ethnicity of the child. Based on ...
4
Apr

R-E-S-P-E-C-T? Resources for Developing Respect in your Child

My daughter once told a teacher at school that the hardest rule to follow in our house was showing respect. As a parent, I want my children to be kind and considerate and think of other people’s feelings, so I give them frequent reminders to show respect to others. However, learning to say “please” and ...
21
Mar

What Does “Children from Hard Places” Mean?

“Children from hard places” is a phrase used by Dr. Karyn Purvis and others in the field of child welfare to describe children who have experienced a difficult early upbringing. This language more accurately describes children in need of foster placement or adoption than some other terms or phases focused on the child’s behaviors only. ...
10
Mar

Say “Yes”, Turn “No” into “Yes” and Teach Your Child to Accept “No”

During the first couple months of becoming an adoptive mom, there were many times I said “yes” to my daughter when I ordinarily wouldn’t have done so. For example, I said yes to: taking a bath in leggings, taking a bath with socks on, taking a bath fully clothed (luckily this stage passed fairly quickly!), ...
7
Mar

Parental Emotional Language and Its Influence on Internationally Adopted Children

We have always heard that children mimic what a parent does rather than what they say. However, new research shows that especially with internationally adopted children, efforts made by their adoptive parents to discuss emotions and feelings with their children makes a huge difference in the child’s emotional understanding of themselves and others, thus contributing ...
10
Feb

Splish-Splash! My Kid Won’t Take a Bath!

In our house, bath time can sometimes be a struggle. A few nights ago my daughter refused to take a bath. I eventually figured out that she wanted me to bathe her. I’m not sure about you, but around 7:30pm, after being sick and working all day, the last thing I wanted to do was ...
3
Feb

What is Adoption Education?

Whether you are engaged in an international adoption, special needs adoption, sibling group adoption, or domestic adoption, obtaining adoption education related to those topics is very important for the success of the adoption itself. In order to be as prepared as possible for this tremendous change within your family, MLJ Adoptions International works to help ...
13
Jan

What is a Home Study?

Over the past several years at MLJ Adoptions I’ve completed many home studies and met many different families hoping to adopt. Each family is different and has their own story to tell. My favorite parts about completing home studies are talking with families and learning what brought them to adoption and providing them with support ...
30
Dec

What Parents Can Do if Their Adopted Child is Being Bullied

Bullying is a serious mental and physical public health issue that affects countless young people every day. It is neither a normal rite of passage nor an unavoidable reality of childhood, and should never be accepted as such. Whether physically or emotionally rendered, bullying is trauma, pure and simple, and your older child should be ...
28
Dec

Adoption in the Classroom

“Muffins with Mom”, “Daddy Donut Day”, and assignments like “How did you receive your name?” are just a few events and assignments that can generate unhappy feelings with your adopted child.  Students can bring home tricky homework assignments and flyers about difficult school events. Your mind may be racing trying to figure out how you ...
23
Dec

Lifebooks are an Important Tool

This week I was talking with a friend of mine who has a teenager who was adopted from Latin America 13 years ago. Since her daughter is now a teenager she is at a critical time where she is defining her identity and how she fits in the world. According to Erik Erikson, adolescents search ...
17
Dec

Caring for your Child’s Ethnic Hair

Ethnic hair describes the hair belonging to a member of an ethnic group. It is most commonly known to be hair that is coiled, curly or wavy in its texture. Whether you are adopting a child from the DRC, Haiti, Samoa, Mexico or Honduras, your child will be considered to have ethnic hair; therefore, it ...
14
Dec

Looking at Our Adopted Children Through a Trauma Lens

Hector, age 8, had been adopted through the foster care system after his parents, from Mexico, were shown to be unable to provide for his welfare in the United States. His adoptive parents were strong Christians and took him to church regularly. One Sunday, the family happened to be sitting next to the mother of ...
7
Dec

‘Tis the Season to Practice Compassion with Your Children

The holiday season is the perfect time to begin actively nurturing the qualities of compassion, empathy and benevolence in your child. Although you have likely already begun to do this in less obvious ways-showing them how to hug their sibling when she is sad or speak kindly to a friend when he is upset, the ...
2
Dec

Steps to Take When Adopting Older Children

Adopting older children brings both joys and challenges into your home. There are steps you can take to make the journey into your home smoother. Knowledge is power Read about the country you’re adopting from, and learn as much about the culture as you can. Keeping your child connected to his/her culture is crucial in ...
11
Nov

How Can I Teach My Child to be Gentle and Kind?

How does your child’s engine run? If your child is like mine her engine runs on high most of the time. We are constantly saying “slow down,” “be careful,” “be safe,” “be gentle,” and “be kind.” Sometimes I feel like a broken record. Getting her to slow down and be aware of her surroundings and ...
4
Nov

Spelling Words: Thinking Outside the Pen and Paper

If you have an elementary aged child, then like me, you probably dread the weekly spelling test. My daughter’s first language is not English so, for her, spelling is hard and studying for spelling tests is even harder. The English language is especially hard because not all words are spelled like they sound or sound ...
20
Oct

How I Prepared My Sons for their Newly Adopted Sister

My husband and I took many steps to prepare our sons in advance for when we would add to our family through adoption. However, we still experienced many unknowns and surprises that we had not anticipated. We had been talking about international adoption for the past couple of years. Our kids knew what adoption means ...
5
Oct

Resources Available to Older Adopted Children

Adopting older children can bring both joys and challenges into a home.  Not only are you dealing with the effects of any trauma, neglect or abuse the child may have experienced in his past, but you are also dealing with that same child’s fear of being rejected once again, their conditioned responses to being parented, ...
9
Sep

What’s In Your Sensory Bin?

Sensory bins come in all different shapes and sizes, can have many different items in them, and they will differ depending on your child and the sensory input that they need. A sensory bin can be helpful for any child but particularly children who are fidgety, have a sensory process disorder, ADHD, anxiety or autism. Children who ...
10
Aug

10 Back-to-School Tips for Adopted Children

The first day of school is daunting for most kids, but it can be especially hard for children who recently joined a family through international adoption. Even if they attended school in their birth country, the schools in the United States will be much different. There are many things to consider when preparing your children ...
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